End of March Reflections

It was my birthday month, but the little people in my house are the ones who have done some significant growing up during the past few weeks. I'm still marveling at the changes, some of which happened practically overnight. It's all good - some of it has me downright giddy. But as with any changes - even the good ones - there are new challenges too. A squirmy, busy baby doesn't want to hold still for diaper changes. A newly reading preschooler can be so eager that he wants to monopolize mommy's day by doing reading lessons all. day. long. A 2-year-old who may just be past his obstinate screaming phase ... oh wait, there are surely no downsides to that. Just a saner mama who is basking in a more peaceful home.
And the thing about all of it, is that it has so little to do with me, or my abilities as a mother, or my teaching or my discipline. These children simply are who they are, transforming, emerging. There are rough patches which they do come through, and mostly my job is to be there to love them and walk with them each step of the way. There's plenty of faith required in the process. And patience in not trying to force the results we want to see. I think that type of patience is easiest when they are littlest - of course they will learn to walk and talk. But as they grow it can be harder and harder to simply be with our children - and let them be who they are. Let them experience all the emotions and challenges of life and only gently guide. To lead by example, recognizing that it's not a magic parenting formula but a relationship.  I'm still learning all this, growing along with my children. Maybe I did some growing up this month too.

Reading Together

I really like this picture, even with the blurriness (and I promise Millie isn't actually picking her nose). I feel like we sometimes miss capturing the mundane, everyday stuff. But as mundane and everyday as this is, I love these moments. Everyone piled up, listening to a story. I'm sure I love it partly because no one is fighting (much) and I'm getting a little rest. But it really is one of my favorite things to have my kiddos cuddled up next to me.

When it Clicks

We had two reading breakthroughs here today and I mostly want to write about it for my own benefit.

I think today was the first day Millie (age 7 1/2) ever sat and read a chapter book silently to herself. She's been feeling under the weather with a cold, and has mostly been laying on the couch blowing her nose. I think the inactivity was just what she needed to slow her down enough to make silent reading appealing. Learning to read has been no easy task for her. It has been a long, uphill climb. But it is finally all coming together and she's becoming a fluent reader. Her book of choice today was a recent selection from the library (Lily in Full Bloom, which is in the Disney Fairies series). I think she is still skipping over some words that are too hard for her, but she's been telling me about the story, so it seems she's getting the meaning, if not all of the details!

The other breakthrough was Silas, who is just a month away from turning 5. I've worked with Silas some on letters and phonics, and I had a hunch that learning to read would come easily for him. And tonight for Silas it totally clicked. It was actually quite humorous to see him clip along page after page in the beginning reader (Book 1 in the I Can Read It! series), then the wide eyes and big smile when he realized what he was doing. A definite "aha" moment, which was very exciting for both of us. Tom was in the room too, holding Naomi, and I was glad he was there to share such a fun moment.

Toofer

Looks like I got this Inspired by Finn amber teething necklace just in time. Naomi finally popped her first tooth, just a few days after turning 8 months old. Is it helping with teething pain? Well, who knows, really. But either way, it's awfully cute.

Me at 33

Today I turn 33...

I've been married for nearly 10 years. Tom still makes me laugh, I still think he's funny, smart, talented and just downright wonderful. And he is my biggest encourager and my best friend.

I'm the mother of four amazing children. I've given birth four times. I've been either pregnant or nursing for 8 consecutive years.

I'm currently in what has probably been my hardest year as a mother. It's been physically and emotionally challenging. But it's making me a stronger, wiser woman.

My hair has gone from curly to wavy, thanks to the aforementioned pregnancies. I miss the curls. I'm 15 pounds lighter than I ever remember being, thanks to the aforementioned nursing. I don't miss those pounds.

I've discovered that I love to garden. I'm hoping that in the future I'll have more space and time for growing food. It's incredible to be a part of that process.

I wish I had the time/energy for more creative pursuits - especially sewing. But I just don't right now.

I spend most of my days taking care of the kids, cooking and cleaning. I actually do like to cook, but these days it feels more like a chore. I actually don't like to clean. At all. So sometimes my house is kind of gross.

I'm homeschooling my children, and still trying to figure out exactly what that should look like. But I'm thankful to spend my days with them.

For my birthday, I hope I get some new yoga pants because my two pairs both have holes in them. I bet I also get a vegetable peeler. And I'm planning to buy a nursing necklace so that Naomi won't get into the habit of pulling my hair.

I'm humbled by God's grace extended to me. I see it in the eyes of my children, in the plants that emerge from my garden each spring, in the kindness of friends, in the blessing of family.

Speaking of family, my sister and her crew stayed with us this weekend, so my birthday breakfast this morning was really a party. When there are 8 kids in the house, it's always a party. Blessed indeed.

Silas' Turn

I just realized the last three posts have featured the other three kids. So tonight is Silas' turn. He can be so incredibly sweet. If you don't know him very well, you will probably only see his mild-mannered, pleasant, quiet side. (Though the reality is that he can also be very rowdy and wild.)

I will probably never forget something Silas said after we had company over for a brief visit. Millie talked a mile a minute nearly the whole time, while Silas just smiled his shy smile. After our company left, Silas came over completely unprompted by me, and said softly, "Mommy, I just couldn't think of anything to say." I don't know that I've ever loved him so much, because oh do I know exactly what he means.

Also notable about Silas: at bedtime he can curl up, close his eyes, hold still, and fall asleep in less than 10 minutes. This is still amazing to me since the other children in our house seem to find that flopping and wiggling for about 30 minutes is the best way to go to sleep. This Silas is one talented boy.

Six Word Fridays: Go

This girl is ready to go.

(But I'm glad she's still slow)

Linked to: Six Word Fridays

Fly to Me

Last night, as we were getting ready for bed...
Isaac: "I wish I could fly."
Me: "Really? Where would you fly to?"
Isaac: "Uh....to you!"
Anytime, buddy. Anytime.

Carrying Her

I was handling bedtime on my own last night, juggling teeth brushing and bedtime books, diapers and drinks of water. Millie stayed up reading books while I was getting the little ones to sleep. Once the last heavy eyelid had closed,  I sneaked out of my bedroom and found Millie curled up on the couch, fast asleep herself. I checked her bed to make sure it wasn't littered with beads and books, then with some effort scooped her up and carried her to bed while she slept. As I turned out her light, I was struck by the fact that I won't be able to do that much longer.

This is the girl that I spent two years carrying in China, on my back, on my front, in taxis, through the rain, in packed crowds and up lonely mountains. I still remember Tom and I laughing with exasperation at the challenge of simultaneously holding a baby and taking off our shoes when we would arrive home to our tiny apartment. We mused that it would be so much easier when she could at least help by hanging on. And now we're down to just a couple more years, maybe, and I won't be able to carry her at all.

It's such an odd mix, this parenthood, and something I've only really been able to appreciate in the last few years. It's amazing seeing them go from being helpless and dependent, to becoming strong, capable people. Saying goodbye to that little person who captured your heart, but being overjoyed at the person they are becoming. For today it makes me want to hold on tight, embracing every bit of it, while I still can.

Roasted Brussel Sprouts

I think I've said the before, but it's worth repeating: for amazing vegetables, roast them! Some of my favorite vegetable dishes involve simply roasting with a bit of olive oil and salt. And if there's a vegetable you're struggling to learn to like, roasting may be the way to go. Brussel sprouts are  exceptionally good this way. I think this might just be Isaac's favorite veggie dish right now.

So. Get yourself some brussel sprouts and simply wash, trim, and slice (either halves or quarters). Then toss with olive oil and salt. Roast at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, stirring every so often. Easy enough! And you might just find your bunch fighting for the last serving.

Monday Night Miscellany

Almost two weeks ago I filled up the dehydrator with travel snacks, and one of the recipes I tried was these corn cilantro chips, pictured above. But don't ask me for the recipe, because they weren't such a hit. Too much cilantro, honestly (and I love cilantro!). I thought they were pretty good with salsa, but no one else really liked them. Tom's complaint was that they stuck to his teeth. But they had a nice crunch, and I'm thinking I'd like to try corn chips in the dehydrator again sometime, but minus the cilantro.

For a while now I've meant to blog about these reusable snack bags. The brand is Itzy Ritzy. They have a zipper closure and are roomy and durable. We've had them nearly a year, and we like 'em.

Have you seen these cool Ravensburger Family Fun puzzles? My mom has a couple, and they are really great. The puzzle has three different size pieces for different skill levels. So a parent can work the puzzle alongside a four-year-old, and be appropriately challenged. Very fun if you love puzzles, and want to share the love with your kids.

(no affiliate links in this post, just sharing about some stuff I like)

Oh the Oatmeal

Oatmeal is what we eat for breakfast most days. Either that or toast with nut butter. Very occasionally - usually a Saturday - we might make pancakes. And very, very occasionally Tom will make scrambled eggs. But on a typical weekday morning you'll find us eating oatmeal. It's easy, healthy, filling, and it's no trouble to suit everyone's specific preferences. I'll either cook up a pot of steel-cut oats (1 part oats to 3 parts water, bring to boil then simmer for about 25 minutes), or I'll fix individual bowls of rolled oats (1/2 cup oats, 2/3 cup hot water, stir together, wait 3-5 minutes). Then there are the add-ins, which are as follows:

#1 Millie: Millie likes either steel cut oats or quick oats. When I fix her bowl I'll add a teaspoon of both coconut oil and flax seed oil, then lately she asks for chopped apple, unsweetened coconut flakes, and honey. Sometimes she chooses frozen fruit instead of apple.

#2 Silas: "Oatmeal with raisins and honey and wait til it cools off and don't stir in the honey."
If you ask Silas what he wants to eat, those are his exact words nearly every morning. Fairly self-explanatory. Though I might add that he prefers rolled oats, but he will eat steel cut oats too. Oh, and I do slip some coconut oil and flax seed oil in his oatmeal as well. Shhhhh.

#3 Me: I prefer steel-cut oats, and if I'm not cooking up a pot, then I don't eat oatmeal and instead opt for fruit and nuts or a smoothie. But if we are having steel-cut oats, then for my serving I'll add a teaspoon of coconut oil, chopped apple, and chia seeds. And I'm living proof that taste buds can change, as I really prefer my oatmeal without any sweetener. (Not saying I don't still like sweets. I totally do. I just prefer my oatmeal unsweetened) Go figure.

Tom and Isaac currently don't have any strong oatmeal preferences. As long as I fix some for them, they're generally happy. And Isaac sometimes prefers my bowl over his.

The Root of Peace

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us - that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace. We have that peace when the gracious God is all we seek. When we start seeking something besides him, we lose it."

- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Words with Isaac

Tom: "Isaac, do you need some attention?"
Isaac: "Yes, can I have a white one?"

Me: "Isaac, can I get you some clothes?"
Isaac: "No, I have tattoos."

Isaac can say Naomi's name just fine, but if he's talking fast he usually shortens it to "Nay". And for some reason he also likes to call her "Naom-a" or "Naoma-boma". And now we call her that sometimes too.

And as Isaac was drifting off to sleep tonight:
"Hey mama, you know what? Cars vroom on the road. Hey mama you know what? Trains vroom on the track. Hey Mama, you know what? Naomi's asleep, and Silas asleep but I'm not asleep."

Eating Green

organic fruits & veggies from a local produce co-op

 It's not too tough around here to come up with some natural green foods on St. Patrick's Day. We had this smoothie in the morning, and these potatoes at supper tonight, made with collard greens instead of kale. And at lunchtime, pancakes with minced spinach stirred into the batter. You barely taste the spinach, but it gives a nice green hue.

And while we're talking leafy greens, if you need some fresh ideas for your green smoothies, I recommend:
Green Smoothie Revolution by Victoria Boutenko
The Green Smoothies Diet by Robyn Openshaw
Both books have plenty of the why and how of green smoothies, with lots of recipes as well. Sometimes you need some inspiration for dandelion greens in your smoothie. Or maybe that's just me.

Sunshiny Day

Tom texted me today around lunchtime to ask if we were outside. I looked around at my messy house and simply replied, not yet.

I made the kids put on jackets before we went out. The breeze seemed a bit cool to me.  But once in the sun, busy running and playing, the kids quickly shed the extra layer.

Millie completely cleaned up her little garden box. She got her hands in the dirt and pulled up every little weed and then smoothed out the soil. It's pristine. My garden boxes never, and I mean never, look so nice.

Tomorrow we'll plant a few things. Now that we've been outside and I've seen the garden for myself, I just can't resist. Some lettuce, radishes, spinach, kale. And peas. If you've never planted peas, you simply must. There are few garden treats better than eating fresh, raw peas straight off the vine. And you're supposed to plant peas on St. Patrick's Day. Did you know that?

We also took the straw mulch off of our strawberries and garlic. There are signs of life there, but way too many weeds.

The boys were so content and busy outside. They got to run, shout, throw, and play like kids are supposed to. And all three kids decided it was a day to be barefoot. These toes have been missing the dirt.

I can't say enough how much we needed a day outside. Especially me.

(also, I am having some fun with Instagram)

I Was Right There

It's bizarre that I don't know exactly when this happened. I know who did it, and I know it was sometime between 5:30 and 5:55 pm. Most bizarre is that I was only about 5 feet away from this chair, busily fixing supper. I guess it's amazing to me that I was standing that close, but I was so preoccupied elsewhere that I didn't see the creation of this, um, artwork.

It's probably a good parallel for what it's like being a stay-at-home mom sometimes. You are always right there, nearby. But it's easy for your brain to be somewhere else.

P.S. The marker washed out quite easily. I wasn't too worried considering we bought that chair at a yard sale 10 years ago for 40 dollars.

Perspective

There's not much pleasant about a long car trip with very small children. Ages four and up do okay. And granted, listening to an  audio book we all enjoy (anything by Beverly Cleary right now) actually can be quite nice. But the two-year-old and the baby? Well. I will admit that it's my fault for being a bit unprepared and not bringing much to keep Isaac occupied, leaving him to amuse himself with talking! very! loudly! And throwing things. Also, we did two potty stops for Isaac, who considers using the potty optional while at home, but is definitely going to insist on a stop while we're driving. So I get the pleasure of taking him into a dirty public restroom, where I have to completely undress him from the waist down (socks too!) and every other sentence out of my mouth is "Please don't touch that!"

Then our poor sweet baby has no idea why she has to sit in that car seat for so long. Why in the world is mommy not picking her up??! And I get the pleasure of doing something that looks like wrestling an octopus which is in fact only me trying to hold Naomi in my lap while wrestling her out of poopy-diaper blowout clothes and back into fresh clean clothes. And I also master the art of nursing the baby while she is riding in her car seat. One of those things that I never thought I'd do, but then you just do because you have to. The noise, the constant requests, the long drive: it all leaves me a bit frazzled and grumpy.

But then I start reading the news, and it's all about Japan. And the loss is tremendous. Homes, businesses, families, lives, all gone. Swept away. One moment a mother and daughter were together, the next moment the rushing waters pulled them apart. And now there is uncertainty and sadness, fear and grief. I cannot fathom. And my heart is so heavy for these people in a faraway place who have such different lives from my own, but in actuality are just like me.

There are still shrieks coming from my two-year-old, but they sound different now. I'm feeling humbled, blessed. Tears brimming, I can only be thankful for the treasure that is this moment, right now, today.

Back Safe Home Again

We managed a quick trip this weekend. I wasn't sure if we'd be over the sickies, but we were just in time. It turned out to be a good weekend with some pleasant temperatures and plenty of sunshine. Perfect for playing outside, and snacking outside too.

On cold sweet potatoes, of all things.

And now we are back home with unpacking to do and the start to a new week. Since I'm already on a roll, I'm hoping to blog every day this month. Good luck to me! 

On the Christian Way

"A person has to be thoroughly disgusted with the way things are to find the motivation to set out on the Christian way. As long as we think the next election might eliminate crime and establish justice or another scientific breakthrough might save the environment or another pay raise might push us over the edge of anxiety into a life of tranquility, we are not likely to risk the arduous uncertainties of the life of faith. A person has to get fed up with the ways of the world before he, before she, acquires an appetite for the world of grace."

Eugene H. Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction

Six Word Fridays - Wonder

Much to wonder about these days.
Changes may be coming, or not.
Here or there, now or later.
Desire to be content either way.
And embrace the wonder of today.

Linked to Six Word Fridays at Making Things Up

10:36 pm

Tonight I'm...

Hoping for a quick return to health for everyone in our family.

Praying that I stay healthy - no sick days for mama.

Snuggling up with my baby and giving my tired feet a rest.

Loving my sweet two-year-old, who had a good day.

Listening to the hum of the dehydrator, which is filled with snacks that will be ready in the morning.

Feeling thankful for quietness after a long day.

Ignoring the mess in the kitchen; it can wait til morning.

Wanting to know what's next for us, but just have to be patient.

Wishing for warmer weather and a real glimpse of spring.

Looking forward to the weekend.

Good night!

Oh, the Places You'll Go

"What's this book even about?" Millie asked me this morning.

I was fixing oatmeal for breakfast, and she was sitting looking through the Dr. Seuss classic, which Tom had read to the kids last night.

"Hmmm, well what do you think?" I genuinely wanted to hear her thoughts, rather than give her "the answer".

"I think it's about growing up." she ventured, with a bit of a question in her voice. We both smiled, and I told her I thought she was right.

It squeezes my heart a bit to think of where life will take these children of mine. We tease that they'll live just across the street, maybe around the corner. Silas says he's never leaving.

Our culture says they have to go. Often faraway. Go find a job that pays well, go out and try to save the world. I'm thinking long and hard about all this. So many traditional cultures and peoples emphasize family, emphasize taking care of one another. God created families: to be our community, to teach us to love and serve. But here we live in a time and place that stresses the primary importance of individual calling, individual purpose, self-fulfillment.

I want to tell my kids they can go anywhere, they can be anything, they can follow their dreams. But I also want to tell them that they don't have to go far. That God can use them anywhere. That bigger doesn't always mean better. And honestly, I'm still trying to figure all this out for myself.

Hummus for Lunch

A quick and simple lunch: whole wheat pita with hummus, cucumbers, spinach and broccoli sprouts. Millie won't eat hummus on pita unless there's some vegetable added. Cucumber is her favorite; she likes the broccoli sprouts too but on this day left off the spinach. Silas won't eat hummus on pita if there is a vegetable added. So he eats his "plain" with carrots on the side. And I throw extra spinach in their smoothies.

Pad Thai

I posted on Facebook the other night that I was making Pad Thai for supper, and I had several people ask for the recipe. My initial thought was that it isn't really a recipe, more of a method. Sort of like stir-fry, this can be made by "feel", adding more of what you like, and leaving out ingredients that you don't. This dish has some sentimental value since Tom and I have visited Thailand on four separate trips, one of which was our honeymoon. The food we ate in Thailand was always amazing, with lots of fresh vegetables. Pad Thai is probably one of the best-known Thai dishes, and you could order it at pretty much any little restaurant.

Now I need to confess that anytime I've made Pad Thai in the past it's been from a boxed kit that contained the noodles and the sauce. I really wanted to make the sauce from scratch this time, so I did a quick google search to see what ingredients I would need (rice noodles, tamarind paste and fish sauce), then headed off to the Asian Market near our house.

I snatched up two of the crucial elements, and the cost was much cheaper than I would have paid at my usual grocery store. Here are rice noodles and Pad Thai sauce:

I know, I know...this means I didn't make the sauce from scratch. But when I saw this, and read that the ingredient list was fairly short, I couldn't resist. And I'd never seen bottled Pad Thai sauce before, so that was part of the allure too. Also, when I saw the bottle of tamarind paste, I was totally intimidated.

Okay, so time for the recipe already! Here's how it goes at our house (these proportions serve 3 large portions, or 4-5 small-ish portions):

Ingredients:
Rice noodles (12 ounces)
tofu (about half a block) (can substitute either chicken or shrimp for the tofu)
soy sauce (or Bragg's liquid aminos, which is what I used)
2 eggs
1/2 cup (approx) Pad thai sauce
1/4 cup (approx) fish sauce
green onions
bean sprouts
chopped peanuts
cilantro
lime

Bring a large pot of water to a boil, then turn off the heat.  Put rice noodles in the hot water and allow to soak for 6-8 minutes, then drain.

For the tofu, cut into 1/2-inch cubes. Brush cubes with soy sauce, then bake on a greased baking sheet at 400 for 40 minutes, stirring every 10-15 minutes.

In a large skillet, scramble the eggs in some oil.  Then add in the cooked noodles and tofu. Add both sauces, more or less to taste. Stir well.  Garnish with remaining ingredients as desired.

I can't say that this is truly authentic, but our family really likes this dish. Also not authentic, but quite good, is to add in some shredded carrots or cooked greens. Enjoy!

Two Challenging

Days with this boy are unpredictable. There is sweetness and laughter, cuteness and fun. But also? Tears, whining, screaming, and a stubborn determination to do the opposite of anything anyone suggests. He is exactly two-and-a-half. So I really shouldn't be surprised. (And for you mothers of two-year-olds who have no idea what I'm talking about? Well, what can I say? Lucky you!)

There are a few tricks of the trade for coping with this phase. Notice, I said coping, not solving. I'm convinced that little ones have their phases that can not (should not) be rushed along and the best strategy is to simply hold on tight through the bumpy ride.

So what do we do? We pick our battles, and try to recognize when to stand firm and when to let it go (keeping in mind that children can learn to be flexible when we model flexibility). We try to make sleep a priority, since a well-rested kid tends to be a happier kid. And a hefty dose of playful parenting, keeping little hands busy, and errands with daddy all help too.

When all that fails: deep breathing and chocolate. For mommy.

Sorting

Today the boys wanted me to "play cars" with them. I'm not very good at that, but I managed to convince them that it would be fun! to sort the cars into colors...
       red...  
                        blue... 
                                          green.... 
                                                               yellow...

In my mind these days I'm doing my own sorting. What's important and what's not? Is it enough to "just" be a mom? Where else should I invest myself? And how much of that sort of investing can I handle? Where do I want to be 5, 10, 20 years from now? How do I prioritize all the little things -and big things- that I encounter in my days? Which of those things will really matter later, in the grand scheme? Sorting, sorting...

Six Word Fridays: Might

She tries with all her might

To coax the geese her way

A loaf of bread to share

But still they only fly away

Linked to: Six Word Fridays at Making Things Up

Parenting to Sleep

 Tom with baby Millie, in our apartment in China

We just finished reading Peter Pan to our kids. They were thrilled with the flying and adventures. I was struck by the description of Mrs. Darling singing lullabies to the children each night until they fell asleep. This reminded me of Pa Ingalls, playing his fiddle at night to help Mary and Laura go to sleep. I'm always fascinated by these glimpses into simpler times, when parenting was based on long-held traditions and intuition, and not on what the latest expert in the best-selling parenting book has to say. Times when parents didn't feel too busy and rushed, when there were not so many other diversions and a half-hour spent singing wouldn't be viewed as a waste of time.

I would dare say a more human time. Not to completely romanticize the past, as I know some aspects of parenting then were harsher than what we would accept today. But still, maybe there's something to be learned.

Now we parents are desperate for "our" time. So desperate that we feel compelled to train our children as quickly as possible to need us as little as possible. Getting baby to fall asleep on his own is the gold standard. Any rocking, nursing, or cuddling to sleep are bad habits.  Such nonsense. Parents have been available to their children at night for countless generations, usually right at baby's side. Mama could be counted on to be available if a little one were sick or scared, or needed reassurance after a bad dream.

Too many parents today may confess only with some embarrassment that they do, in fact, lay down next to their toddler while she falls asleep. Or that, yes, baby sleeps best in our bed and the crib doesn't get much use. I'll consider it a good thing when we aren't afraid to admit these things, and can happily embrace the benefits of keeping our little ones close, even at night.

Naomi in a Pink Hat

I wanted to get a picture of Naomi in the little hat that I knit for her. We were out again to enjoy another sunny yet cold day. But it's awfully hard to hold a baby and also take her picture. It seems I needed a longer arm. I think I did manage to capture those chubby cheeks though.

So I gave my phone to Millie and let her try. She managed to get some good smiles.

And here's what Silas came up with. Not too bad.

March First

A good start to a new month. Today was cold but sunny. I took the kids out for a walk in the green space behind our house. Isaac had an exceptionally good day, and I hope I get to see this version of him more often. I had a long post written here, but somehow lost it this evening. So instead of trying to recreate it, I'm off to bed. But I'm looking forward to some good things this month, and expect to be here more often.